Well I think that a lot of what the inmates do is just for entertainment sake. I know I would do some really stupid s@%^ if I was locked in a cell most of the day just to keep from going crazy.

LMAO….. Dunno why but I just reread this thread and now I can’t stop laughing. Far as memorable inmates go, can’t remember his real name but we also had the “Superhero”. Any given time walking past his cell he might be posing with his underwear outside his pants and a towel for a cape.

Hey Commander, hows the book coming along?

Just like the young girlfriend of an inmate who sent marijuana in a package with clothing. She used her real name and address. I am sure you know what happened after we found the MJ. While on the subject of dumb moves a Deputy told me this incident. A man goes into the bank where he has an account. All the tellers know him by name. He takes a deposit slip turns it over and writes “this is a holdup.” The teller didn’t say anything and she gave him exactly $1,000. He left the bank and of course they called 911. What he forgot was the teller knew who he was, the deposit slip had his full name, address, city and phone number on it. So when the Investigators and State Police knocked on his door he said, “how did you know it was me?” The kicker on top of that…the teller gave him $1,000, the exact amount he had in his checking account, all he needed to do was withdraw it.

LMAO…. I have yet to see any G-Strings come in the mail, but I did find a Thong in an inmates cell. Made out of a pair of state shorts.

Got a call one day to grab the van and go over to the front of the prison lobby to pick up the Sarge and 6 officers for a shakedown on the west side camp ,80 inmates…Drop them off,call the rover so he can secured my van while I watch the inmates in the yard..
After it was said and done ,lock up who they have too.I asked the rover what when on..What’s with the sudden shakedown..Well two hours earlier a mother and her daughter show up at the prison gate demanding to talk to who is in charge..Long story short.She wanted to know why her son when to lock up.ADSEG,around 11am since he was 3 weeks from being parole.Lt with a surprised look asked her how she knew.My son’s friend call me.Where’s his friend?Lt asked."In the Westside camp,he used a cell phone! Yea …interesting book.

We’ve busted women trying to bring in drugs and tobacco in thier baby’s diapers. Moms go to jail, baby to Child Protective Services. Sad what these people will put their families through.

Funny but true story: One time I’m in court for a work related case. This was a while back, and I was outside in uniform smoking a cigarette. This guy walks up to me in a suit and asks me if he can bum a smoke. I assume he is a public defender from the look of him. I give him a smoke and bullshit with him for a while. When we go back into the courtroom they call a case for a guy who was caught brining drugs into my prison through visiting. The suit guy gets up, and again I assume he is the lawyer for the dumb idiot who was brining in the drugs. Turns out, the idiot brining in the drugs was the suit guy.

You just never know who your talking to, or who’s stupid enough to bring contraband into a prison. I felt pretty stupid myself I have to say.

You would be amazed at the amount of Mothers and even Grandmothers we have caught bringing in Drugs. " Because He had the Sickness".(Withdrawls). What people forget inmates are master manipulaters. And can’t believe that they are being used.

Had an instructor tell us of a day an elderly lady pulled up to the front of the prison and ask an officer for help throwing 5 bags of tobacco over the fence for her son because he told her he was out.

I will give you a better one. We had a guy who Mother sent him in Mens G Strings.

Oh I had a 16 year old boy ask me one time, “Hey CO, my mom wants to know if she should send me silk shorts.” And of course I replied, “why are you gay?” What in the hell do you want silk shorts in a jail for?

If I where to write a book it would be a combanition of One Flew Over The Cukoo Nest and Who’s Going To Belive This !
From eating fecal matter to stuffing their anal with cell phones and shanks,and pretending they are not gay because they sleep with their cell mates while their wife’s and girlfriend visit them….It would be am interesting book!!

LOL… I usually didn’t mind working with the RTU inmates. Once you figured out how to deal with them and get them to follow instructions, they were mostly easier to deal with than the so called “mentally competent” ones. Whenever one in GP would give me problems about his job duties I’d bring up the fact that the ones in RTU worked better, harder, and faster. Usually done the trick to get them to work and stop complaining. Guess they didn’t like the thought of being outdone by someone who was on meds for mental problems.

HA. I had to take an inmate out in front of the facility once to rake leaves. We took black plastic bags with us for collecting the leaves. He was about 6 ft tall, weighed 300 pounds or so and had all the intelligence of a wallet. When I told him we had to go rake leaves he said, “oh goody goody” clapping his hands like a three year old would. Outside after raking a pile of leaves I told him to rake the leaves into the bag. He stepped on the open part of the bag, couldn’t figure out why the leaves weren’t going inside the bag.

Lightbulb Williams, Boxing Betty, The Preacher, Dog Head, Fat Jack, The Owl (this dude stayed up all night sitting on top of the cell shelfs), Big Titty Taylor, and can’t forget the most entertaining one…. Donnnniiieeeee Haaaalllll !!!!!!!! (anyone needing visual aids can refer to the frontline news program)

I couldn’t begin to remember all the names. Here are a few for your entertainment: Shorty No Shit, Biggie Small, Ardvark, Big Hawk, Big Hawk’s Bitch, Dope Fiend, Chief, Lil Carmen, Crazy Horse, Karma Sue, Joe Shit, Psych Ike, Black Jack, Mad Mo, and Big Michelle. That is just a few that come to mind. I wrote them down long ago, can’t remember what I did with them.

Aaah…fond memories…“Julius Caesar” “The Mighty Thor” “Starman” “Aliens on my toilet” “Crows like a Rooster on top of the shower” “Heat from the pipes is poison gas” “Nude skater with baby oil on the bunk”

We had Crispy Critter, The Walrus, Frodo Baggins, Crash Test, Fall Down Brown, Cuttin Cooper, Sweet ‘N’ Lowe, Pop Truck, and a few other what we called the “rock star” inmates. These were ones who got branded by staff with very odd nicknames for various reasons or because they were constantly putting themselfs the center of focus. Usually with odd actions like mentioned below, setting themselfs on fire, eating feces, wigging out over lack of tobacco products, etc… Of course we always delt with them in a professional manner. Just our way of putting a lil humor in our jobs.

“Crispy Critter”? You guys kill me! Keeps me comin’ back too! lol

These pics are actual footage of the day after the riot ended. Will get them to you as soon as I down load them and attach to an email to you. Take care.

Riot pics would be appreciated. We did have a video last year that gave an excellent presentation of CERT team quelling a riot using full team gear and the V wedge method. Email: radar0509@yahoo.com

Yes I did, very nice. I had a lot of fun reading that. I will definately have to put some together for you. Let me know if you would like to see some of the Riot photos. Shoot me an email and give me info on where I could send it. Might try to send you an attachements.

Commander did you get my “TrueTales from the Jail?”

Yep.. Soon as you started smelling something like a cross of burning paper and overcooked bacon you knew critter was at it again. I’ll send you an email with my contact info and we’ll change some stuff back and forth.

Crispy Critter was the fire Inmate. Goodgame used to eat feces. Irish Assassin and Jamestown, good to be back. Stupid thing would let me on forums. I have started the book. Don’t know how long it will take or in what direction it will take me. But, I have started. I have several CD’s of riot photos over 240 pics. Send me your email and will set up how I can get them to you. It is the one Logan showed you and then some. Were taken during and after the riot.

Anyway back to our normal programming….. I do remember a certain inmate in the K5 RTU who would eat excrement like candy bars, Another one who thought the shower water was haunted, And yet another who would wrap himself with toliet paper and set it on fire. Hardly ever a dull day in the treatment units.